Living Legacy

The 10 Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

Tia Peterson — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:43:12 +0000

Jefferson Memorial - Photo Credit Yours Truly

I’m 30 years old. I imagine that at 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90 I will re-think all of these lessons and re-write them, because we are constantly learning.

10 Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned in Life

1. Pause at least 3 seconds before responding to any question. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in 3 seconds. If you give yourself at least 3 seconds, you’ll have enough time to choose the best one.

2. Don’t rehash break ups again and again in your mind. It doesn’t matter that it could have happened some other way, because it didn’t. Replaying the scene ten thousand different ways doesn’t change what went down so file it away for next time.

3. Statistics are for research reports. Don’t live your life by them or let them define you.

4. You can have (lots of) your cake, but if you eat it, you might want to jump on a treadmill at some point. Just sayin.

5. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Really.

6. Don’t stay committed to someone who does not love you.

7. It’s okay to change your career. Keep changing it until you can say that you LOVE it.

8. You don’t have to lose yourself when you have a child.

9. Life’s too short to die in a city/state/country that you hate. What if they bury you there??? MOVE.

10. Self-loathing is for the birds. You are awesome, deal with it.

This post is part of the Life Lessons Series hosted by AbubakarJamil.com. If you’re a personal development blogger, you are invited to participate! Thanks to Jean of VirginBloggerNotes.com for passing it on.

Insecurities Will Kill Your Passion

Tia Peterson — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 19:38:38 +0000

Photo Credit: anna gutermuth (flickr)

Lately, the theme of “insecurity” has been circling my life and showing up in various ways and many forms. Romance, friendship, career – insecurity rears an ugly head and ruins things.

Relationship Sabotage

Insecurity can cause us to sabotage our relationships. When we start to feel like we’re losing someone, we start pushing them away faster. When both people are insecure, it’s doomed completely!

If you are insecure about something in your relationship, it’s your job to sit up and take notice. No one (including you) wears a “Sorry, I’m just insecure” patch on their forehead, so don’t expect your lover/spouse to pick up on it. Sure, he or she just might pick up on it but not in the way that you would like.

Career Sabotage

This is far less obvious, but just as deadly to your passion. Just the other day I felt the familiar feeling of insecurity creeping up concerning my work. I am very passionate about the new direction my life is taking and a new career avenue; yet, all of a sudden, the question of whether or not I was really good enough came into my head. That put up a stop sign – it halted the momentum.

Insecurity is a plug. Whatever is coming its way, when insecurity steps in front of it, all forces cease. It’s the best way to kill a dream.

Family Sabotage

Families are held together by strong bonds that can be torn by insecurities. Note: insecurity involves questioning oneself, not the other person. You cannot know what is in someone’s mind. So if you are insecure, it is because of some sort of doubt you have in your own mind about YOU.

When family members are insecure, perhaps doubting that they are just as good as their siblings or doubting that they are just as loved as their spouses, homes fall apart. Remember, insecurities are stop signs, and unfortunately what they usually stop are things that are progressive – passion, love, and joy.

Standing Up to Insecurity

The best way to get a grip on insecurity is to stop seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes. This is the one time in life where you are given a free pass to be a little ego-centric, because it’s the only thing that will help. Forget what other people think of you (for now). What do YOU think of you?

Live What You Love: Stop Living in a Place You Hate

Tia Peterson — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 07:45:37 +0000

Coco Cay Island, Bahamas (P.S. you can't actually live here.)

Look around you. What do you think about where you live? Your actual dwelling as well as your geographic location. Do you love it or hate it, or what?

My Story: Live Where You Love

I moved to Erie, Pennsylvania for a dude (mistake #1). I then stayed a little longer in Erie due to another dude (mistake #2). Erie is not a bad place. But, I detested Erie, for oh so many reasons.

Erie is far away from any family or friends that I have.
Erie is very, very cold in the winter, and I do not like being cold.
Erie is incredibly economically depressed, for the most part.
Erie has a very low median income. Getting a job that pays well is pretty hard.
It’s expensive to fly in and out of Erie.
Erie is located in Western Pennsylvania, an area of the country I’m just not that fond of.

I would never have moved to Erie had it not been for that ex-boyfriend. The truth is that even when things were good, I still did not love Erie. I tolerated it. I made the best of it. But I didn’t love it. I pretty much hated it.

So I moved. I live closer to family, love the climate, and am genuinely happy in my physical location. The differences are so vast it’s hard to describe. Before, in Erie, feelings of hope were hard to come by. Here, I feel like the possibilities are endless.

That’s how you should feel when you live where you love.

Downsides of Living In a Place You Hate

Assuming you are not physically tied down to the place where you live, your best bet is to move to a place or new home that you love.

Living in a place you hate has consequences.

It’ll be difficult to make close bonds with other people who live there and love it.
Your dislike of the place will overpower anything good that is there. You will be blind to it.
You will not feel secure, because you will not be grounded or rooted.
You will always wish you were somewhere else, prolonging misery.

Living in a home you hate also has consequences.

You will miss out on having a haven, a sacred place, in your home, because you won’t spend enough time there.
You will not be able to come up with creative ways to decorate and make the place yours.
Your home will not feel safe and secure.
You may lose sleep.

Finding the Courage to Move: 3 Ideas

1. Spend a lot time preparing

Bob and Melinda Blanchard of Live What You Love spent a lot of time figuring out where they wanted to live. They did not open a map and choose a random place.

Think about culture, proximity to family, climate, and economy before you choose any place. Make sure it’s really where you want to live.

2. Give yourself time to adjust

Once you’ve decided you are going to move, you don’t have to move right away. You can take a few months to get yourself used to the idea. If you’re going to be nearer to family and friends, connect with them before you move. It will make the transition easier.

Familiarize yourself with the new place – read up on it, map out your life a little. Things never go according to plan, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up planning altogether.

3. Get Affirmation

This may not always be possible, depending on your circumstances, but it’s always nice when someone affirms a decision you are making. Talk to friends or family about your decision to move; see what they think.

This is not to say that their opinion is more important that yours. Even if no one wants you to move, except for you, it can still be the right decision for you. But it is really nice to hear from a friend or family member that you’re doing the right thing.

10 Totally Fantastic YouTube Proposals

Tia Peterson — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 23:29:10 +0000

There’s definitely an obsession with putting I Do’s on YouTube, and there are a lot of videos of them there. But I’ve hand-picked the best genuine and most romantic, funny, or sheer genius videos here for you. I tried to choose only short ones but the first one is too cute not to watch all the way through.

#1: Marriage Proposal choreographed to “Shake It” – LOL best one hands down

#2 OMG this is the sweetest. He reads from a journal he kept of their courtship.

#3 Super Cute. This is why I love British people. lol

#4 Kinda Creepy Proposal in a Movie Theater

#5 Starts off stupid but her little song at the end is hilarious

#6 This couple is super cheesey, but cute, too

#7 I like how they keep hugging. And good God that ring is sweet!

#8 This is adorable. He sings a song, and asks her ‘You sure about this?’

#9 Empire State Building Proposal – Cute

#10 Would’ve rated this higher, but this Old Spice guy just isn’t as sexy in this video as normal.

Eat, Pray, Love: What food, prayer, and love have to do with each other

Tia Peterson — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 21:28:55 +0000

Eat Pray Love in Theaters August 13 2010

On August 13 2010 in the United States, the much anticipated film, Eat Pray Love, starring Julia Roberts, begins playing in theaters. Much more than a chick flick, it’s a story of self-discovery, much like in Under the Tuscan Sun, which stars Diane Lane (another beautiful, wholly incredible film that takes place largely in Italy).

If you’re like me, you’re going to be first in line to see it (well, if you’re like me, it’ll also depend on a reliable babysitter. )

Why the fuss?

Yes, Eat, Pray, Love the film is actually based on a memoir book (aka true story) written by author Elizabeth Gilbert. But I think it’s more than that now. The very idea of Eat, Pray, Love has sort of grabbed hold of this huge human-powered, worldwide, pop quiz on understanding life, who we are as people, and how to make it better. It’s not an entirely selfish movement either. In fact, what I’m seeing is that people who have lived their whole lives very selfishly are now seeking to finally get connected to what is going on around them. The whole thing is encouraging, in my opinion. It’s a shift in our belief system that says, okay, man is much, much smaller than we originally thought. There is indeed Divine power. There is indeed a spiritual connection here somewhere. Let’s find it.

Why Eat, Pray, and Love?

So what do food, prayer, and love have to do with one another?

I haven’t read the book yet – I have something like 19 days left to do so before the film comes out – but here is my take on eating, praying, and loving.

Firstly, they are all sensory experiences. Experiencing food – the physical act of consuming it – awakens at least three senses: smell, touch, and taste. If you are not blind, add to that the sense of sight. If you are not deaf, add to that the sense of sound. And so the majority of us use all five senses when eating, whether we realize it or not. And that’s just the beginning.

For prayer, if you’ve ever experienced it, the sensory experience is altogether different and yet, the same. Close your eyes, and you actively block out your sense of sight; or, open them in beautiful decorated prayer rooms or gardens to take in beauty. The idea being that by removing external distractions, you can tune into prayer more easily. Typically, prayer rooms and locations are silent, blocking your sense of hearing. Some prayer areas are filled with ambient music, stimulating sense of hearing rather than shutting it out. Depending on the religion, sometimes incense is used as a sensory experience for the nose.

Love, particularly romantic love, is incredibly sensory. The deeply physical touch experienced between two people who love each other can never truly be replicated or copied by an unloving duo. It, like food, employs all five senses in order to completely involve our bodies in the experience. It has been said that even a simple kiss (or the thought of one) can raise blood pressure and elevate heart rate.

But isn’t there more than just senses to tie them together?

I think so.

Eat WELL to remind yourself that even something so vital to life such as food should be experienced with vigor, joy, and utter happiness. Eat with others, enjoy your food, and use everything around you to make it plentiful and rich.

Pray to remind yourself that you are small, and that life is great, and that God is greater. Pray in every season of life and turn of the day – in gratitude, in doubt, in sorrow, in pain, and in joy.

Love to remind yourself that people were meant to connect; that our bodies and minds were created for such a purpose. Love to remind yourself that it is okay to be loved back.

Count Your Blessings (Pearl Jam – Just Breathe)

Tia Peterson — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 20:35:54 +0000

Pearl Jam – Just Breathe

I’m a lucky man, to count on both hands the ones that I love.

Some folks they got one, still others… they got none.

Stay with me; let’s just breathe.

Did I say that I want you?

Did I say that I need you?

If I didn’t, I’m a fool, you see…

No one knows this more than me.

Don’t Sweat Small Stuff – No, really. Don’t.

Tia Peterson — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 23:10:54 +0000

Photo Credit: Cuba Gallery - www.cubagallery.co.nz (flickr)

You see something, or hear something, or read something. You do not like whatever it is.

Instant reaction. Confusion. Irritation. Your mind starts reeling with ideas and possible ways to give feedback and your whole body is set to react to what you’ve just seen, heard or read.

How many times a week/month/year does that happen to you? Of all the times, how many of them stem from something you might consider… small?

Small Stuff = Not Important

I’d consider myself a highly emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and for writers/bloggers like myself, it can be quite challenging to do that when your entire image is sort of created out of other people’s perceptions of you and your work.

If you’re an emotional person, too, you can probably understand. It’s the constant second-guessing before hitting “Publish,” or it could also be just the constant reaction to things that irritate you. For me, it’s seeing non-sense writing get a lot of attention. It is a huge pet peeve of mine when fluff, jelly, or just “air” – things that have no substance – get elevated to new heights by mindless sheep.

What is small in that pet peeve of mine is my reaction itself. It is small, not important, and should be ignored. How do we ignore our own reactions? Not easily, but it can be done and must be done to keep in alignment with our purpose.

Don’t Pick Up Someone Else’s Trash

It was so long ago now that I can’t remember who the man is that originally told this story, but here it is: if someone walking down the street towards you throws trash at your feet, is it your responsibility to then pick it up and deal with it? No. Of course, that is speaking hypothetically. I would definitely pick up trash if I saw it there and a trash can was within site also. But speaking philosophically, the point is that it’s not our job to respond to everyone else’s life’s productions. Whether they are just rude comments, or insults directed right at you, there’s simply no reason to carry their burden. It’s theirs. Let them deal with it.

Don’t Produce Trash for Other People

Likewise, there’s no reason to create more trash to be dealt with. So often I have wanted to write a blog post chastising bloggers for being so elementary in their writing. But I have to remind myself two things: (1) it’s not important to you, and (2) don’t litter the blog world with more junk. I have to remind myself daily to be helpful, constructive, and to write for readers.

Remember Two Things: Passion and Joy

If you do start to react, maybe it will help to stop right in the middle of it all and ask (1) how does my reaction help me express my passion? and (2) how does my reaction add to my joy?

Chances are, if you’re reacting to something negative, it doesn’t do either of those things. It doesn’t fit in with your purpose, or help create a positive living legacy, either. For that, you need passion and joy, and the “thing” you’re reacting to as well as your reaction itself are squelching passion and joy.

So, don’t sweat it. Really.

It’s not easy to let things go, but sometimes, you just have to. So today’s lesson to myself and to others is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Reeeeallly.

10 Common Work from Home for Yourself Misconceptions

Tia Peterson — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 15:00:40 +0000

Working from home is all fun and games... isn't it?

I think it must be the years of this kind of thinking – perhaps since the start of the Industrial Age – that has entrenched an idea so deeply in society: that “real” work means that you wake up every day, put on nice clothes, get in your car, go to an office building somewhere, “work,” take a break for lunch, “work” again, and then drive home.

When I tell people that I work for myself, I can tell it’s difficult for them to believe. And then when I add that I work from home, it’s even more difficult to believe. At least, it appears that way, from the raised eyebrows, that it’s difficult to believe anyone would do that on purpose, what with the rocky financial times we are having globally. But for me, working from home and working for myself don’t necessarily have to go together, and it’s not because I can’t find another job. It’s a personal choice. It’s on purpose.

It’s not just the strange looks and silent nods of the head that are interesting. It’s also the other things – the way that friends and family think your work day is like when you work from home and work for yourself.

Common Misconceptions

1. You have time to talk

This one is the best. Working from home can’t possibly require attention, right?? After all, you’re at home! You should be able to actively carry on a conversation with your mom or your boyfriend or your landlord/neighbor/cable guy, because, well, you are working from home, so it’s not interruption.

This isn’t true for everyone. I don’t even have the television on when I’m working. It’s too distracting. I don’t answer my cell phone, either (well, truth be told, I don’t answer my cell phone most of the time). When I am working, I am working. The clock is running and I am billing my clients. It’s difficult enough to shut off Twitter or HootSuite to pay attention.

2. You have more time to clean your house

Ha! I am outing myself. But guess what? When I am working from home, I’m not cleaning my house. I clean my house after work like everybody else. It’s certainly a nice idea. But for me, those precious hours when my son is at daycare so I can earn us enough money to live our lives are golden, and I don’t want to waste a single minute of them doing things that don’t further my career or goals in that manner.

3. You make loads of cash

While some people believe you can only be struggling, others seem to believe that working for yourself is synonymous with being rich. I soooo wish that was the case. If only. Alas, it is not. Some of us do, but some of us don’t. Just like some people who work outside the home for other people make loads of cash, and some of them don’t.

4. You can watch your kid(s) at the same time

This one is very common and I actually held this belief and tried it myself for awhile. For me, it has not worked over time. I’m sure it depends on you, the type of work that you do, and your kid’s age and temperament. I have a son and he is 2. When he is sick and has to stay home from daycare, I hardly get anything done. It just doesn’t happen.

When he was very young – a newborn – it was quite easy. He napped a lot, and was content with hanging out and watching me work or playing with baby toys. But now it is a totally different ball game. And guess what those hefty daycare bills do to the loads of cash theory? They eat it up!

Again, it totally depends on the situation, and I know that many moms and dads are pulling it off – or at least claiming to. But in this household, it just doesn’t work.

5. You can’t run a real full-fledged business that way

Au contraire. When I was in college, one of my very first temp jobs during the summer was working for a woman who owned a market research firm that she ran from her home in Virginia. She had turned her basement into an office area, and I sat down there doing something – I think I was calling people (can hardly remember). This was a real business. And she really ran it out of her home. Working from home is not just for people between jobs, college kids on break, or people who just want to earn a couple of bucks.

6. You HAVE to work from home if you work for yourself

That’s not true, either. I do, because it saves money, gas, and I like it like that right now. But lots of people are going the coworking route, or leasing office spaces, or, when their companies grow, purchasing real estate and the rest is history. It truly depends on the business, the person or people who run(s) the business, and the needs of the business.

7. You get a huge tax break

Not really. And huge is a relative term anyway. You don’t get to write off everything like people think. I can’t/won’t give out tax advice, so of course, you should read up on it if you do your own taxes, or hire a consultant. Just know that it’s not so amazing that it should make or break the decision between working from home for yourself vs working for someone else.

8. You can work whenever you want

Depends on the business! For me, I do find myself up at all hours of the night sometimes, but it’s usually not because I’m working on an assignment. It’s usually my time to write articles or blog posts, or work on my own marketing and business planning, or to play Mahjong . During the day, I have to consider time zones, deadlines, and other things pertinent to clients. In the future, that won’t be the case, because I’m slowly moving toward a different business model that is totally independent of “clients,” but for now, that’s the way it is.

9. You can never go back

It’s certainly harder – mostly due to lifestyle conflicts. It’s pretty hard to ask your boss for permission to go to the doctor after you’ve been working for yourself for a year or longer (I know, I tried). It’s humbling, too. For me, I eventually lost interest in having someone else dictate my time for me and thus began the ticking of the clock, and the growth of the list of other things that become difficult to take.

But going back is not impossible. Tips: keep your resume in tip-top shape, especially if you ever plan to return to working for a company that you don’t own and will need to interview for. Demonstrate that you are a team player by describing your work with other people – your clients, partners, etc. And don’t say that you worked from home for yourself while you were between jobs. Everything you do should be with passion and purpose, even if you have to dig deep to find it.

10. You are just waiting for something better

This is something you may even wrestle with on a personal level. Yes, we are always striving to better ourselves and reach new goals and exceed expectations. But there is a difference in doing those things… and waiting for something better to come along. If indeed you really are in-between jobs and are doing a little elancing to make ends meet (which I highly recommend), that is completely and utterly fine. But if you have escaped from corporate America and are trying to make this new life work, you will have to remind yourself that this is not a sub-par way of living. Try really hard not to see this as the answer to some sort of mid-life crisis. If you want to be successful in business, you must look at what you’re doing like a business. It’s that last lesson I have finally started to learn for myself.

Best of luck (where preparation meets opportunity) with your work from home for yourself endeavors! I’d love to hear your story, so if you have one, please share it!

Tia

Great Related Posts

Live What You Love: 50 Questions to Ask Yourself

Tia Peterson — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 21:26:46 +0000

School of Fish: Atlantis Resort Nassau Bahamas

I am finished with the book, Live What You Love, by Bob & Melinda Blanchard. I just bought it yesterday and I basically tore through it, deeply taking in each sentence.

I don’t know why this book is classified in the Self-Improvement section of Barnes & Noble. It’s actually even labeled on the back, “SELF-HELP.”

It’s not self-help, though; at least, not in the typical sleepy style of most of the “unhelpful” self-improvement books out there.

I suppose it could be categorized as self-improvement, but I really consider it inspiration. The book is a collection of memories, detailed accounts of several points in Bob and Melinda Blanchard’s incredible journey of living what they love.

There are several wonderful “Remember” pages full of Do’s and Dont’s, and I felt like I was etching each one on my heart as I read them. Things like “Don’t stay in a job you don’t enjoy” and “Do ask yourself as many questions as it takes to discover where your passion lies.”

It’s that second one – the one about asking questions, that brings me to this post today. In a post called Define Your Goals, Bob and Melinda talk about asking yourself questions and more questions until you discover what it is you really love. After all, we can’t live what we love until we discover what ‘what we love’ really is, right?

Live What You Love: 50 Questions to Ask Yourself

Probing into myself isn’t easy. I’m so thick-headed. I can adequately probe someone else, but when it comes time to ask myself, “what do I want?” I always come up blank. So as an exercise for myself and you, I’ve created a list of questions to ask ourselves to help define that passion. They are not in any particular order, except for my own random stream of consciousness. I tried to avoid common cliche questions, as I’ve never found them helpful and you probably wouldn’t either.

How do you really feel about what you are doing right now at this exact moment?
What is your fondest childhood memory? Who was there? What was going on?
How comfortable are you in your home?
How comfortable are you in your town/city? State?
What kind of weather do you like?
Do you believe you can have your cake and eat it, too? Why or why not?
What is one quality about your parent(s) that you really loved?
What is one quality about your parent(s) that you really do not like?
Do you like what you are doing for money?
What do you feel is your greatest skill?
What do you feel is your greatest personality trait?
Do you feel like anything in your life is holding you back from ultimate joy? List everything.
Write a paragraph or two about your ideal weekend/time away from work. Include location, sights, smells, food, activities, and people.
How close are you in proximity to the people you absolutely adore the most?
What do you want out of life?
How do you think people will remember you, when you die?
How do you want people to remember you, when you die?
Write your epitaph - the sentence you would want to appear on your grave.
What is one thing you could do today, this week, this month, or this year to get a step closer to creating the legacy in #17?
How do you feel about your home furnishings?
Do you have a hobby that you like to do but you don’t get paid for? What is it?
Does money hold you back from anything? What does it hold you back from? Be very specific.
What do you think of passionate people?
Do you know anyone who you feel is living their dream? Who? What do they do all day and night? Be very specific.
Do you think you can be completely satisfied living where you do right now?
What do you want to accomplish?
Do you want to change your career?
Do you wish you lived closer to a certain someone or group of people?
Do you wish you lived in a foreign country or a far away state?
What are three things that you do everyday that make you totally happy?
What do you want to pass on to your children?
What is something you have never tried but would like to?
Are there things in life you wish you could reverse or make right?
Do you feel like you have enough money to live the way you want to?
Are you happy when you think about the upcoming day and all that it comes with?
What do you find challenging?
What do you find thrilling?
What are three memories you haven’t yet created but you would like to?
Do you feel energized when you work?
Do you feel creative when you work?
Describe what you consider work, and what you consider play. What are the differences?
Do you feel blessed or lucky to wake up each day? How can you get to that point?
If all of your debt was forgiven tomorrow, and you had a completely clean slate, what is the very FIRST thing you would change about your life?
Where are three places you have always thought about living but never did?
When do you want to retire?
Is there an award or accolade you have always dreamed of winning or being recognized for?
If you could learn how and money was not an issue, is there anything else you would do for work besides what you are doing now? Be specific.
List three things you would immediately change about your work day if you were the boss (assumes you are not the boss).
List three things you would immediately start doing on the weekends if you had the money.
Imagine it is a big holiday and you are with your loved ones and you are living what you truly love. When they ask what you have been doing, what do you say in reply?

Which questions do you find difficult to answer? Why do you think that is?

Live What You Love: Review, Part 1

Tia Peterson — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 22:34:12 +0000

Photo Credit: moonbase (flickr)

I just started reading an amazing book by Bob and Melinda Blanchard called Live What You Love. I bought it from Barnes & Noble for $14.95 minus my membership discount, but apparently you can get it free and just pay shipping and handling from somewhere. When I discover what that link is, I will let you know.

Passionate People Create Their Destiny

One early thing I’ve discovered about Bob and Melinda Blanchard is their extreme – and I mean, extreme – passion for creating a life that they love. They, like most of the truly passionate people that I know, simply create their destiny. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t think that anything they have accomplished thus far has been “simple.” Rather, what I mean is that if life doesn’t hand them what they want, they just create it.

On the other hand, so many other people take what is obvious and just go with it. Maybe they complain the whole way, or maybe they just live it in peace. But the difference between them and truly passionate people is that passionate people decide to do something about “it,” whatever it may be. The rest just don’t. Or maybe they try a little and give up. Or maybe they try A LOT and give up. But giving up just doesn’t seem to be in the blood of a truly passionate person.

Self-Discovery: I Give Up A Lot

One notable difference between myself and the Blanchard’s is that I give up a lot. I have always been the type of person that says, I’ll stick with what I know, or what’s easy for me. But that’s not really my destiny – I don’t think. Too bad I’m just learning this now at the age of 30. Although, if I live to be 90, I’ll have lived 2/3 my life with passion, purpose and joy, and that will be well worth it.

I’m on page 41, chapter 11, of Live What You Love. I’ll be updating as I go along, because this book is going to be a staple in my “inspiration” corner.

Thought for the Week: What Kind of Destiny Are You Creating?

What kind of destiny are you creating for yourself and your family? Is it one of utter weakness and despair, or worse: dispassionate, so-called peace? What about what you love?

The book’s title, Live What You Love, got me really thinking about what I actually love. Still thinking about that… what about you?

The only thing certain is change…

Tia Peterson — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:09:45 +0000

Niagara Falls, NY

Going through the revitalization of this blog after letting it sit for quite some time.

How to Create the Perfect FAQ (and why you should!)

Tia Peterson — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:00:25 +0000

What does FAQ have to do with business process management?

A well-developed FAQ (aka frequently asked questions) adds a level of automation to your business. By creating a set of FAQ that is easy to use, relevant and accessible, you can reduce the amount of time it will take to address very simple customer inquiries.

When are FAQ necessary?

FAQs are strongly suggested for traditional businesses and service providers that sell well-developed and relatively stable products or services (think retail and wholesale outfits, catering companies, wedding planners and music teachers, for example). Retail and wholesale outfits can use FAQ to address questions related to the ordering process, manufacturing, and shipping. Catering companies and wedding planners can use FAQ to address scheduling or booking questions. Music teachers can use FAQ to address questions related to lesson plans, methodology and expectations.

FAQ are always helpful, but not always necessary. Bottom-line: you need FAQ if you’re getting (or you anticipate getting) a lot of frequently asked questions. Otherwise, FAQ is optional (see unconventional uses at the bottom of this post for example). Simple as that.

Note: FAQ can be incredibly helpful for online marketers who are launching new products, also. Online marketers can use FAQ on sales pages and in e-mail marketing for better conversions (since the questions will be addressed upfront).

If you don’t get a lot of questions or if the questions you get are always unique, don’t spend time on FAQ. Part of effective business process management is doing things that are useful and helpful – don’t waste time on unnecessary tasks!

How should FAQ be formatted?

When the FAQ are basic questions about your products or services, you can list them on a web page or in a brochure. Note: it isn’t necessary to create a separate page just for FAQ – put them where they are most relevant. You can use this opportunity to improve your customer experience with your website and/or marketing material.

For example, you could put FAQ that are about your experience and background wherever your About Me information is. You could put FAQ that are about your products and services wherever that information is present. And you could put FAQ that are about how to contact you on/near your contact information.

Why use FAQ at all?

Really, the answer has to do with what I wrote at the beginning – developing a good set of FAQ improves your business process by adding a level of automation that would otherwise become laborious and time-consuming. If you find yourself getting a lot of the same questions by customers hesitant to buy/sign up/schedule a consultation, for example, perhaps you should put together a list of these FAQ and make it accessible to prospective clients and customers.

Should You Spend Money on FAQ Software?

Truthfully, I didn’t know there was such a thing as FAQ software until I began researching FAQ while writing this post. My opinion is that you do not need FAQ software as a small business owner. FAQ software is useful for technical writers, software developers, etc. But for you – you should not be automating your FAQ creation (which is hard for me to say, as someone who assists small businesses in automating their business processes). Use the FAQ development as a learning experience for you – it can help you get to know your business, as well as highlight some opportunities to improve your business processes.

How to Create the Perfect FAQ

The following is a list of steps you can follow to develop and implement a good set of FAQ for your business. If you have any questions on how to implement these, send me a message or leave a comment and I will respond!

For the next 1-2 months, collect any and all questions you receive in a list. The questions can be from prospective or current clients/customers. Make a note each time a question is received so you can tell which questions are asked most often.
Gather the most frequently asked questions as well as the most useful questions into a separate list. If you have a lot of FAQ, organize them into sections that make sense. Splitting them into relevant sections will help people find what they are looking for more quickly.
Develop a relevant, accurate answer to each FAQ. Spend a lot of time on this. Getting the answer right is just as important as choosing the right FAQ. If you’re developing FAQ for a website, link the answer to the page on your website that provides more information, if possible.
Decide where to put the FAQ. It is OK to put them all together in a list – this is conventional. But you can also put them where it makes the most sense contextually.
Publish your FAQ.
Spend 2-3 months testing your customer/client experience now that the FAQ is available and be sure to use website analytics to determine whether or not anyone is even reading your FAQ (if you’ve placed them on a page on your website, for example). If you find that 3 months has gone by and you are still getting peppered with the same questions, you need to look at the placement of your FAQ and the overall effectiveness of the marketing tool (brochure, website, chalkboard – wherever you have placed FAQ).

Unconventional (but awesome!) other ways to use FAQ

Subliminal marketing: When written well, you can use FAQ to be persuasive in addition to purely informational. When used in e-mail marketing, for example, you could use FAQ as more of a way to address the questions you think your prospective customers/clients would ask themselves. Perhaps they would ask themselves what value the new product adds to their life or whether or not the price is worth it. A well-developed FAQ could answer that question for them.
Address how-to: If you sell a product, you can use FAQ to talk about how to use it (if it’s not obvious). You can also use FAQ to talk about how to use a service or how to contact you.
Talk about privacy: Privacy policies use standard language that is usually boring and no one reads it. You can use FAQ to talk to people about how you manage their information.
Show off your personality: This is your first real opportunity to talk to your customers/clients about things that are on their minds. So, talk to them like you would talk to them in person or over the phone – be genuine! A great example of this is the FAQ page over at Mailinator (which I found referenced in a blog post about FAQ). They even use the term “stupid-head.” This demonstrates a lot about their personality. Show yours in your FAQ, too!
Generate Backlinks: If your FAQ is interesting and informative enough, you could even use your FAQ to generate backlinks. See the list of good FAQ examples below. These FAQ pages have tons of backlinks, which means a lot of websites link to them.

Examples of Great FAQ on Websites

U.S. Copyright Office – Relevant, critical FAQ. Essential for the massive amount of business they do.
IRS – Need I say more? Have YOU ever used IRS FAQ? I have!
Cairns Wedding Planner – Great use of subliminal marketing!
OSI Business Services – Another great use of subliminal marketing.
Amazon Associates – They’ve integrated FAQ into a huge help section.
Dance Dimensions Dance Studio – I like that they’ve shown some personality in both the way the word each FAQ as well as how they answer each one.

Questions? Comments?

How do you use FAQ? Do you think they’re important? Do you notice any FAQ on my blog? What do you think about that? Please include a link to your FAQ if you would like to show it off!

How Business Process Management Can Help Small Businesses

Tia Peterson — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 15:58:19 +0000

What is Small Business Process Management?

Business process management can help small businesses in two ways: (1) identifying repeatable processes and (2) automating them.

Automating repeatable processes (straightforward ways of doing things that you do over and over again the same way) saves time and money by removing guesswork, making training easier, and allowing you to take a break from running your business without the whole thing falling apart!

Business process management takes into account the things you do every day to make your business run and lays them out visually, so you can see just how your business looks when drawn out in a diagram. This is a great way to discover your repeatable processes. When you work with a small business process consultant, you talk through your business processes, where you can trim activity and where you can ramp up activity, so that your business can run more smoothly and be more profitable.

For example, if you own a small cafe or flower shop and every Monday you take inventory and order supplies, it would be ideal to find a way to automate at least part of that process. Or, if you run a small organization of 50 employees or contractors, it would be ideal to automate the help desk system or supply ordering process. If you are a solo entrepreneur, you can automate billing, setting up accounts, tasks you send to your virtual assistant, article writing or blogging, responding to basic questions or concerns, or even your social networking!

Small Business Process Automation in Action

You probably will recognize some or all of these things, but you may not have learned to implement them in your own business. This is where a business process consultant can help. Which of these is right for your business? All of them? None of them?

Automated or semi-automated supply ordering (e.g., food, office supplies, etc.)
Automated new account creation
Frequently Asked Questions booklets or page on your website
Help desk system for internal employees or outside clients
Project management software
Time tracking systems for yourself, employees or contractors
Billing management systems
Online postage/printing shipping labels

There a hundred more we could add to this list. What have you automated in your small business? Leave a comment; I’d love to hear about additional ways of automating small business processes!

Feature! Look me in the eye! My perspective on Agile Principle # 6

Tia Peterson — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 04:15:31 +0000

In the Twelve Principles of Agile Software, # 6 says:

The most efficient and effective method of
conveying information to and within a development
team is face-to-face conversation.

I started to respond to this principle here going one direction, but I forced myself to keep reading it and now I have a different perspective.

While I believe that face-to-face can be more efficient, I do not agree that it is always most effective. If you look a little deeper into the psychology of people and also into how we interact in groups, I think you’ll find that sometimes, being face-to-face isn’t always most effective.

Even so, it’s not that I don’t believe being face-to-face is effective, it’s that I don’t believe it is always most effective. And now I am particularly curious as to why someone would think it is always most effective? Haven’t you ever been in a face-to-face conversation that has gone awry? Certain types of body language, external distractions, and facial expressions can all hinder good communication. I’ll be honest with you, some of the clearest, most direct communication I have ever had has come via e-mail. Straightforward questions, straightforward answers. Nobody excused themselves in the middle of a discussion to get a cup of coffee or go to the bathroom, and if someone was rolling their eyes, I didn’t see it and wasn’t distracted by it. What is it about being face-to-face that is so much more effective?

If the principle is more about the other “things” – like a whiteboard or scrap paper – that can help facilitate conversation… I’d buy that. But the principle specifically states face-to-face conversation. And, to what degree does there need to be face-to-face conversation, and at what points in the development cycle? All stages? I can think of times where my developers would IM me, instead of getting up and walking the 5.5 feet between our desks. That’s not exaggerating! And I didn’t mind that one bit.

So anyway… this principle has just got me wondering. Is face-to-face truly the most effective way of communicating to a development team? If so, why?

The Role of the Analyst in Agile Projects

Tia Peterson — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 07:48:06 +0000

I posted the following as a reply to several comments on an old (I’m talking 2008) article titled “The Role of the Analyst in Agile Projects.” It’s nearly 3 AM, so I’m headed off to sleep but I wanted to include my response here because although the conversation might be aged, the context is not. Cheers!

Read my reply here first, and then go read the article.

I find this conversation so fascinating. In my opinion, the ultimate goal is to build something timely that meets the customer’s expectations and needs. Whether or not there is a business analyst active on the development team is a decision that needs to be left up to that team. If you fall into a prescriptive mentality about agile development, you’ve already lost and are no longer agile. You need to do what works for your team and the project at hand.

I disagree that we are all BAs and I strongly disagree with the notion that developers should practice business analysis. I would prefer to work with a developer who writes clean, working code in the best way she/he knows how to do. I want to work with a developer who focuses on the best WAY to accomplish the WHAT. The WHAT is my job. The WAY is the developer’s job. Trying to master both of these things will extend the cycle and also, as a developer, I think you would be happier to not waste your time filtering through the mess of getting to the what, because, it’s really messy.

I’ve worked as a BA on projects where the developers insisted on my presence. I suppose many of you have not had this happen, but in cases where you are a small dev shop and you are dealing with a large PMO [corrected here - typo in original reply] client, you will benefit from having a BA take the reins – from them, really – so that you can manage scope more effectively.

Project managers manage “when.” BAs manage “what.” Developers manage “how.” There will always be back and forth and everyone’s input is certainly necessary but in the end, someone has to be on point for owning that part of it. That’s been my experience. I know it’s really oversimplifying it but keeping it simple rocks.

Link to the article

Learn Scrum in Ten Minutes Video (Axosoft)

Tia Peterson — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 07:08:11 +0000

In case you haven’t yet seen this…

Are tech writers obsolete in an agile development world?

Tia Peterson — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 02:24:27 +0000

I have been thinking a lot about documentation recently, now that I am about to go back into full-time consulting work again. My professional background has quite literally been completely built upon documentation – originally as a spec writer in a large development environment, then as a product manager still in that same large development environment, and later as a business analyst in a much smaller, more agile (and also more global) setting.

Boy, were those two completely different worlds of documentation! In the one setting, we had team fully dedicated to managing documentation – ENTIRELY! We were documentation specialists. In the other setting, documentation was either needed or not needed. It wasn’t someone’s “job” to document, rather, the documentation was a byproduct of the development or business contract.

Of course, I didn’t mind the second setting in the least. Even though I have a technical writing degree, I completely get the logic behind the theory that documentation is simply a means of communication, and a pretty lousy one at that.

Here’s why:

It’s expensive.
It’s high-maintenance.
It serves no real purpose.
The wrong people write it.
The right people ignore it.

Traditional documentation can’t keep up with you. It can’t follow you. You can’t ask it, “do you get what I’m saying?” It’s a static, physical object that someone – a live person – must update constantly. And that takes time. And time costs money. Lots of it. And what’s worse, if you print tons of copies (even worse, in color!) it’s wasteful and bad for the environment. I abhor traditional documentation (which is essentially blasphemy for a technical writer to say, right?).

Scott Ambler wrote a great piece on this subject a handful of years ago, and you can read it here. It goes into much more detail (and commentary) than I will here, but it is an excellent resource for any technical writer or manager looking to adopt agile development methods.

In an agile development environment, communication is king. The focus is taken off of a certain document and instead is placed back onto the what – what does this system do and what do its users do with it? Business analysts in this setting need to understand modeling and need to have a much higher technical aptitude than a traditional tech writer. They also need to understand how to write acceptance tests, because these become the building blocks for development.

So are tech writers obsolete in this new world of development? Sadly, most probably are. Business clients are being wooed and romanced by the show and tell model – rather than producing endless revisions of updated “documentation” that supposedly reflects what’s actually being developed, agile developers are releasing more frequent builds of in-progress projects. Business clients can then provide feedback, and changes can be made and released in the next build.

Of course, there are serious pitfalls (scope creep, out of control change requests, etc.) with that process, and this is where the old tech writer can grow into a more functional role in an agile setting.

If a tech writer can take on business analysis skills, these new BA types can interface with clients and sales engineers (and hopefully, keep them both in check).
The tech writer/BA can be attractive to the business client, because this type of BA can produce better documentation, which in the end is still always required by the business client (clients need to show documentation to their stakeholders, product marketing managers, etc).
The tech writer/BA will also be useful to the agile developer (even if she or he doesn’t realize it) by communicating necessary changes (bugs) rather than an endless stream of change requests. Ultimately, good developers would rather not be face-to-face with business clients. The two do not share a common language nor a common goal, so it’s best if there is someone in between who can really bridge the gap between those two worlds.

So, in my opinion, yes, technical writing as a function within a development cycle is out of style and organizations trying to adopt agile techniques will need to let it go. However, technical writers need not jump ship altogether. Instead, making a transition from king or queen of documentation to king or queen of communication would be a great strategy.

My 8 Hour No Internet Challenge

Tia Peterson — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 12:51:20 +0000

I find myself still needing to force myself to break away from the WWW from time to time – to refocus, pay better attention to my son, clean my house, check some thing off my non-internet related to-do list, etc. I wonder if it’s possible for me to take a full 8, non-sleeping hours away from the internet? For me, this literally means just stepping away from my computer, but for some of you more gadget-centric people this could also mean turning off the iPhone or shutting down the Blackberry.

Here’s the tick-list of things I hope to accomplish:

Clean out some of my closets and cupboards
Get to the grocery store at some point (even though is it ridiculously cold out there)
Put together some puzzles with Aidan
Read more of The Tipping Point while Aidan naps (I know, I’m behind the times, OK?)
Do some baking

It’s Sunday. This should be easier than it probably will be (which is an indication that I need to do this more often). I wonder what would happen if a large % (and, really, that “large” % could be less than 1%) of heavy internet users actually did that – just stepped away? I suppose that’s something I won’t know. But, I’m off to start my No Internet challenge now. Ready… Set… Go!

Getting back into technical writing

Tia Peterson — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 04:25:42 +0000

My degree is actually in technical writing, and my very first job out of college was documenting software requirements. A couple of job titles and a handful of years later, I was still doing that – just in a more prominent, client-facing role.

I am itching to get back to working with functional and business requirements again (remote/telecommute). It is very challenging work that I appreciate, because I love software development and I am not a programmer (although I am teaching myself Python ).

I will be posting a few of the articles I’m going to be writing around the subject here, as one way to draw extra visibility to them (hint – an online marketing strategy: marry articles posted with article databases with blog posts). The resource box will be linked to my LinkedIn page, rather than this website, since the main goal is to draw potential clients to that page to contact me. As always, my ultimate goal would be to do this work from home.

Feel free to comment on those – and of course, Digg and Stumble them all you want as you see fit!

Cheers and Happy New Year,

Tia

Yesterday’s Thought

Tia Peterson — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:02:29 +0000

I wanted to post this yesterday, but I moved my website to a new server and it took awhile to finish. So, here goes:

“In the midst of all of our u-turns, rewinds, re-runs, regrets, and re-do’s, is the mystery of this life that makes it all worth doing – again and again.”